For The Love of Mary

“My spirit has returned and that makes me happy!”
“It was a year ago on Tues that I was first diagnosed with Breast Cancer. “
“…2009 just plain sucked.”
“I want to enjoy this year by laughing a lot and doing fun things…come out and play with me and my fantastic family.”

Happy New Year everyone,

I wanted to let everyone know that I have the results of my 3 months tests and scans. Without boring you with details what it boils down to is, the results are mixed. The tumors have not grown in size, good news. But all of the hormone markers are elevated. Some are down from the original tests in May but they are still all above normal. Dr. Burzynski has requested that I come back to Houston and they will add two medications to the Peptides I am already taking. One of the meds is an anti rejection drug used in transplant patients. An immunosuppressant drug. The other is a med used in liver and renal cancer patients. I find those and interesting combination of drugs and I promise not to bore you with the details. I won't know until next week whether the drugs will be administered orally or IV. Regardless we will head back down to TX and we suspect we will be there about 4 days again. We won't know that for sure until I start the drugs and they watch for side effects. I am hoping for about 4 days. It may just be wishful thinking but 4 sounds good don't you think?

The last three months haven't been particularly easy from a side effect stand point but a few weeks ago the depression started to lift for some unknown reason and my thinking seems more clear. I am grateful for the change as it makes life much easier. My spirit has returned and that makes me happy!

It was a year ago on Tues. that I was first diagnosed with Breast Cancer. I won't regurgitate the happenings of the year because in this house 2009 just plain sucked. The entire flipping year. Enough said! I do have several things on the wish list for this year with the first being a boob job. Burzynski doesn't want me having it during treatment (understandable) so I have to wait until I am done in Houston. It's high on the list!!!! I also want to have loads and loads and loads of fun. I want to enjoy this year by laughing a lot and doing fun things. I am hoping you can all come out and play with me and my fantastic family. It just HAS to be fun.

The Ibach's hope to see all of you this year. It was hard to stay in touch and the side effects make emailing hard for me. I am hoping the website can be updated regularly so that you are all kept informed.

My love,
Mary

“ALL OF THOSE SPOTS ARE GONE. GONE! “

I have been on the peptide treatments for a month now and am tolerating them fairly well. Some of the early symptoms I had are subsiding and others building. The dizziness is mostly gone so I am able to drive, at least during day light hours. The mental confusion seems to be worse at the end of the day when the level of meds in my system are at their highest. My body is experiencing the muscle soreness that is expected. Before I started on the meds I had 7 pre-cancerous spots on my face and hands that I kept saying to Jeff "I have to go have those burned off". I didn't do it for several reasons. Much to my delight, within three weeks of starting on the meds and using Dr. Burzynski's moisturizing cream ALL OF THOSE SPOTS ARE GONE. GONE! No where to be found. He has also had great success with skin cancers. YEA.... It also of course means I don't have to see yet another doc. for which I am grateful.

Emailing is difficult for me at this point and takes me a very long time so I am not likely to be doing it as often as I was. I will do my best to keep people informed or ask someone else to update everyone.

Sending my love. Take your D.
Mary

“I have mercury & arsenic poisoning.”
“I…started treatment at The Burzynski Clinic on the 22nd.”
“I am taking antineoplastons = sodiumphenylbuterate (PB) and amino acids (A2-10). I take 6 PB's and 2 A2-10's 6 times a day every 2 hrs until the regimen of 6 is complete. “
“I cried when I dropped Lillian off at the airport.”
“Catherine has been a silent, watchful angel in a way that no one else could be.”

Hello Everyone,

Well, I meant to write an update before I left for Houston to start treatment and that didn't happen so I am going to catch you up from Houston. Steaming, taking all my supplements and going to my appts has been a full time job.

To the update, which some of you know about. I have mercury & arsenic poisoning. Yes.... Bastyr was having me steaming for detox and when they found the heavy metals added a boat load of supplements a day to try to eliminate as much as possible. One capsule I take 18 of a day. Gulp. I am taking 10 different supplements a day and several of them 3x's a day. I understand each of their purposes so I see them all as worthwhile. But it is a boat load. Then there was more bad news from the MRI of my brain. I have over 20 small holes in the white matter in my brain. Matt (Oncologist) says it isn't cancer. The spots on my liver weren't cancer to begin with either if you recall. He said it could be hypertension (don't have it), diabetes (don't have it), MS or Lupus. They will watch it. He did say high levels of mercury or arsenic could cause those holes. Obviously, it is important to do what I can to get rid of the mercury & arsenic.

I came to Houston on Sept 21st and started treatment at The Burzynski Clinic on the 22nd. I was told to be prepared to stay for 3 weeks. Several people were trading places to come and be with me so I wouldn't be alone. I was told today, after only a week on the meds that I can come home. HOORAH. I have handled the medicine well and all my tumor markers came back negative (which doesn't really mean much with carcinoid cancer) so they are discharging me. I am taking antineoplastons = sodiumphenylbuterate (PB) and amino acids (A2-10). I take 6 PB's and 2 A2-10's 6 times a day every 2 hrs until the regimen of 6 is complete. I don't even want to count how many pills I am taking a day but it is a ton and I am going to take every last one of them until they tell me to stop!

The fact that I get to come home 2 weeks early makes me VERY happy. I even started to work out again while here which has been a taste of heaven. Have managed 4 work outs and plan a 5th tomorrow. I am coming home on Weds. Lillian came down with me and I would say really went to great lengths to get on the same flight as me. She is a doc so I felt very taken care of those first few days here. She asked good questions to the docs at Burzynski and it made me feel protected to have her along. She also was the oomph I needed to start working out again. Lillian and Joe, Jeff and I are forever grateful. I cried when I dropped Lillian off at the airport. I hated to see her go.

Catherine came in the next day and has been with me since. She had a wonderful idea on Friday and said let's drive to New Orleans tomorrow. So we did. It was a great distraction and quite interesting. The city is still in its recovery stage and the damage clearly evident. Catherine's daughter was at Burzynski 12 years ago and it has been helpful to have her tell me Tami had that happen to. She recognizes the side effects and that is nice. Catherine has been a silent, watchful angel in a way that no one else could be. You all have seen Catherine's name by many times by now as she has been the one rallying the troops for the fundraising. Jeff and I couldn't even begin to find a way to say thank you Catherine if we tried. But we are going to try with our undying love! I get to fly home with Catherine on Weds (thanks to Sonja, HS).

I get to go home and see my boys!!!! Cole told his Aunt Stephanie while I was away that his mom was a very smart woman. Then waving a finger with a twinkle in his eye said "but I am smarter" as he proceeds to tell them about the times he has twicked (tricked) me. Unfortunately, some of those times really did happen. He is his father’s son! And I hope he is smarter than me.

If you haven't been able to tell I am excited to be coming home. The side effects have been minimal by comparison. I have had some dizziness and confusion. I am not going to complain about those small things. Well maybe to Jeff I will. Sorry babe.

I will have scans redone in 3 months and we will know from the results what to do next. Fight ON. Your love and support has been phenomenal and we hope to return it someday. For different reasons!

My love, my blessings,

Hi Mary,

Uncle Jerry forwarded me your email update so I could get on your mailing list - hope that is okay :)

After reading this a few times......

MD Anderson = Bastards
Radiation & Chemo = Rat Bastards
Nazir = Angel
Matt = Wonderful, Not a Rat Bastard Oncologist like others who shall remain un named here
Cole = Cutie Patootie
Jeff = Younger Husbands ROCK! hee hee
Switzerland = It's boring all that neutrality - take a side for Christ Sake! The cheese will make you constipated and lactose intolerant. Swiss Cheesey Bastards. (Sorry Margaret!)
India = Place of Healing as USA and FDA has stick up their Rat Bastard Asses
You = The Will & The Power (also the Green Lantern according to little Anton)
Cancer = Biggest Rat Bastard of All
Love = from me to you and Anton and Little Anton and Oly and Josh and Laurel cuz I asked her and she said she sends it and she agrees with the Rat Bastardness.
Love Love Love
(((Hugs)))

Hope

“…I am going to Bastyr….”
“…we have to think outside the box.”
“I will keep investigating India.”
“Switzerland is not out of the picture but on the back burner. “
“…Matt said we have time to try one thing at a time.”

Hello Everyone,

We'll we went to see Matt Lonergan, oncologist, yesterday and have a tentative plan. Next week I am going to Bastyr to be detoxed. I don't know how long that will take but I imagine at least 2 weeks. Since traditional western medicine has nothing to offer me/us we have to think outside the box. We are going to try Dr. Burzynski in Houston. I say that with a caveat. I have recently gotten information on cancer treatment in India (thank you Nazir, I love you) and we are exploring what they have to offer. Yesterday Matt spoke very highly of Indian medicine and their ability to do what others won't. For now, we will plan on going back to Houston for peptide treatment with Burzynski, probably in Sept. That treatment protocol could last anywhere from 6 months to a yr. I will keep investigating India.

Switzerland is not out of the picture but on the back burner. They use radioisotopes that cause damage to kidneys and lungs. I would rather not put radioactive substances in my body if at all possible. If nothing else works I will do that but as Matt said we have time to try one thing at a time. For that I am VERY grateful.

Because we are thinking outside of the box insurance won't cover out of country or Burzynski. Is anyone surprised? Many friends have offered to do some fund raising events for us. You might imagine how tough that is for this Red-headed Irish woman! But I recognized we can't do this without help. I have to be around to watch my son grow into a man more than I need my ego or my pride. With that said you will all be hearing from friends, most likely through email, letting you know about these events. Forgive me, but I am passing along your email address so they can contact you. In the subject line they will use my name so if it goes into junk you will recognize it.

I am very glad to be home. Didn't like MD Anderson at all. The best thing that came out of it was we met a family from Dubai that was delightful. The dad studied at Seattle U years ago. They may come to Seattle before returning home. It would be fantastic to see them again.

My spirits are good and it is partially due to all of you for your encouragement to fight on. I am feeling pretty good physically to. I get tired easily or more easily than before all the surgeries but I make it through most days without napping. Jeff has also felt very encouraged by all of your support. He is also a fighter he just does it more quietly than me, or more graciously. Cole handled MD Anderson very well because Aunt Bobbie was there to play with him (thanks Bobbie) and he got to swim every day sometimes twice a day. When we landed back in Seattle while still on the plane he started singing "I wish I were back in Texas". He is a good little traveler.

We are leaving town this weekend for a family reunion with the Ibach's in Yakima. Going toward the sun.

My love to you all,
Mary

“She is not eligible for any clinical trials at MD Anderson.”
“…considering peptide treatments from the Burzynski Institute in Houston.”
“…peptides help heal the cells at a cellular level…
“…replacing peptides…promotes healing and at the same time reenergizes the body’s own system.”

Mary's testing and appointments at MD Anderson were completed as of last night. What we have learned this week….

1. Additional carcinoid tumors on Mary's liver were discovered, more than 5. One out of the two original carcinoid tumors on the liver has increased in size by .5 mm since May of this year. Dr. Yao considers the disease to be stabilized, meaning it hasn't grown more than 20%.

2. Dr. Yao classified Mary's carcinoid cancer as being stage 4 and has recommended Octreotide / Somatostatin radiation treatments starting next week. He did not recommend any further surgeries. She is not eligible for any clinical trials at MD Anderson.

3. Mary is considering peptide treatments from the Burzynski Institute in Houston. Unlike radiation which masks both good and bad cells, peptides help heal the cells at a cellular level by a process called mylanation. When the body is sick peptides become depleted, by replacing peptides into the system it promotes healing and at the same time reenergizes the body’s own system. Peptides are part of an approved regimen of what is being used to treat Carcinoid patients in other parts of the world. They are being used in clinical trials in this country.

It is also possible that one of or both of the treatment options above will be utilized. We are looking forward to being home Monday where and when we will continue to live, love and enjoy family and friends every day, every month, and every year. Thank you to you all again for your kind words of encouragement, your thoughts and your prayers during what is a challenging time.

We have an appt with Dr. Lonergan (Matt) on Thurs next week. We will go over the treatment options, including Switzerland with him and then decide what to proceed with first. Our strong leanings are to start at The Burzynski Institute.

From all of us...

“It took a ton out of me and 17 lbs. off my little body.”
“I plan on living to see my 4-year-old son grown.”
“Be good to one another.”

Hello,

First and foremost, thank all of you for your calls, cards and well wishes. Not one of them has gone unnoticed. They all have brought smiles to my face and tenderness to my heart.

I would love to have told you about our planned journey to S. Africa that was supposed to have happened in late May but it didn't happen. Instead, I wound up in ER 5 days before our trip unable to stop vomiting. I had emergency surgery the next day for an obstructed bowel. The obstruction was caused by the cancer. They removed a large portion of my small intestine and small bowel and just as a precaution they took my appendix. I spent 9 days (yes I am counting right) in the hospital. I will tell you it was grueling. No one should have to be in a hospital that long. It took a ton out of me and 17 lbs. off my little body. It has taken me until now to feel some semblance of normal. I am recovering. I am feeling better and it does appear there is light at the end of the tunnel. I did gain a lb. last week. As little as that sounds it is finally the right direction.

My family and I will go to Houston, to M D Anderson sometime in July. Many of you probably know that M D Anderson is a cancer specialty hospital. Because the kind of cancer I have is so rare there isn't anyone here that specializes in it so the docs are sending us to Dr Yao. It is all he treats. The cancer is called Carcinoid Cancer. Most people have never heard of it. There is a good chance I will have yet another surgery to try to remove more of the cancer. That would be the 4th surgery this year. It is getting VERY OLD.

I will fight with all I have and my family of course is right there beside me. I married the most amazing man on the planet I am happy to tell you. I plan on living to see my 4-year-old son grown. This of course has been hard on all of us. This isn't supposed to happen to people like me, right? I have lived long enough to know bad things happen to good people all the time. We will make the best of it and I believe good will come from it. Most of you know me well enough to know my cup has always been more than 1/2 full. As tough as all this is my, cup is more than 1/2 full.

All of your love, light, prayers and support are needed and deeply appreciated. I will stay in touch and let you know how I am doing and would LOVE the same from you.

Be good to one another. My love,
Mary

We just found out Mary is being discharged this afternoon!

“ ...God gave Mary Starbucks.”


And on the 8th day..... God gave Mary Starbucks.

Little things continue to make this closer to normal... and even closer to home.

I say Saturday, Mary says Sunday. We will see what the doctors say.

JI

“Once again glad she is not hooked to an IV in Richards Bay, South Africa.”

Friends and Family,

Not the news we were looking for. A small step backward this morning with an infection that is around the incision spot. Dr. Johnson indicated that it is more normal than not for emergency colon surgeries to develop for obvious reasons. Once again glad she is not hooked to an IV in Richards Bay, South Africa. Good old fashioned made in the USA/FDA approved antibiotics today and Friday will continue to help with the healing.

Goal for Friday - Solid foods for breakfast. Rest, rest, rest.
Goal for Saturday - Take Mary off the morphine drip. Rest, rest, rest.
Goal for the weekend - Go HOME + rest, rest, rest in her own bed.

JI

“Mary is a slowed heartbeat away from being released.”
“Evergreen will soon be in the rear view mirror….”

Family and Friends,

More rest and recovery yesterday and today. Less pain medicine has been needed, more exercise is being completed and all of the "other things" that had to happen are giving Mary a chance for release Thursday.

Nurse rumor has it Mary is a slowed heartbeat away from being released. 7 days at Evergreen will soon be in the rear view mirror... needless to say Mary is looking forward to going home.

JI

“Long afternoon naps and quiet time was exactly what the Dr. ordered today.”

Friends/Family,

Much more rested and comfortable this evening compared to earlier today and the evening before. Mary was pulled off of food and was back to eating ice when she/we finally got the break we were rooting for (one step back two steps forward).

Goal #2 from yesterday was achieved!!! It helped relieve most of the discomfort that kept her awake and also helped slow her heart a bit. Long afternoon naps and quiet time was exactly what the Dr. ordered today. In between Mary did another 6-8 laps.... Goal for Wednesday 10 laps, estimated departure day from hospital hopefully will be Thursday afternoon or Friday morning.

Scheduled for University of Texas M.D. Anderson Hospital from June 10th-19th in Houston, Texas @ MD Anderson where they will run tests all week (no surgery scheduled, only tests).

We discussed flying away to sun and a sandy beach hopefully in early July prior to the next procedure.

Thanks for all the emails and well wishes.

Jeff

“…healing body parts.”

Friends and Family,

We are requesting no hospital visitors today and Wednesday at the hospital. Mary's sleep is being interrupted by healing body parts.

Thank you and we will keep everyone posted via the nightly update.

Jeff

“Her sniffer is working again?”

We have a special request.... Please refrain from wearing perfumes, cologne and or scented lotions when visiting Mary. Her sniffer is working again? I don't know... this was her midnight request last evening.

Jeff

“That smile is back.... “
“Today a rest pattern resumed.... “

Friends and Family,

That smile is back..... Overall a better day for Mary. Good test results came back from the Gastroenterologists... She is not allergic to wheat (no celiac disease as previously thought) and also no further concern about the possibility of Barrettes Syndrome in her throat or belly. She was able to rid herself from the hagioscope today (no more tube down the throat). She is drinking liquids today and hopefully will start eating soft foods Sunday or Monday.

This morning Mary asked me for water two times, 10 minutes apart. The second time she asked for it I could not remember where I left it... when Mary pointed and reminded me where I put it. That's when I knew she was getting better.

According to her doctors we could be at Evergreen anywhere from another 2-5 days, depending on her healing process. Today a rest pattern resumed... sleeps for 1-2 hours and is awake and visiting with friends for 1-2 hours. Although her heart rate is still twice as fast as it normally is (100-110 beats per minute) it is better.

Shannon, Caleb, Bobbie and Pat thank you for having Cole down south spend his time with his "brother" Riley who is really (his favorite 1st cousins once removed). We both miss him and look forward to seeing him together soon.

Everyone enjoy the rest of your weekend!
Jeff

“…the original characinoid tumor in fact was what was causing the pain.”
“My Mary is fortunate to have you all be... who you are, in your own separate ways. “
“We will continue to fight this fight….”

Family and Friends,

My apologies in advance for what will be a sleep deprived update.

We wanted to bring everyone up to speed on the latest. Last night Mary's stomach pain reached a whole new level during which she started vomiting... Soon after we found ourselves at the ER before 7PM. Mary was admitted to Evergreen Hospital with blocked bowel by 10PM. After a night of very little if any sleep we decided on surgery as soon as Dr. Johnson became available. It was determined by the physician team that the original characinoid tumor in fact was what was causing the pain. Surgery started at 2:00pm and went until after 4:00pm.

During surgery they removed Mary’s appendix, a set of lymph nodes, the carcinoid tumor, 25-50 cm of distal small bowel, 25cm-50cm of her colon and a small batch of stud carcinoid growths off her remaining bowel prior to sewing her back up.

Needless to say Mary’s much anticipated trip to South Africa will be put on hold until later on in the year. Thank God that Mary’s bowel acted up Wednesday and Thursday instead of later on next week, I could not imagine finding a qualified physician in the Greater Zulu Nyala Gaming Reserve. This is the second time Mary has been delayed on her African Safari dream trip (the 1st time was a trip scheduled to depart on September 21st 2001).

Assuming her healing from today’s surgery goes according to plan the visit to MD Anderson in Houston, TX will go on as scheduled from June 10th-19th.

My Mary is fortunate to have you all be... who you are, in your own separate ways. I say thank you, again, and again. We will continue to fight this fight like we have done so far. We are all one, one united group of Friends and Family who will continue to watch this amazing person who we all know... Mary.

Jeff

“I am writing again with a very heavy heart.”
“What this all means is they will be working to prolong my life.”
“As sad and as frightened as I am, I must tell you that I am also relieved...to have an answer.”

Dear Family and Friends

I am writing again with a very heavy heart. We got the results back today and they are not good. The cancer is in my small bowel, liver, right shoulder (bone). There is a questionable spot in my left lymph node in the clavicle/neck area. The largest tumor is in or on my small bowel which leads the Doc to believe that that is the origin of the cancer.

I won't go into all the details tonight because I am tired and most of them don't matter much at this point. The next step is the doc wants to send me to MD Anderson in Houston to see Dr. Yao, one of the leading experts in the world. Matt (Oncologist) has already contacted them, faxed them a letter and spoken with Yao's PA. Matt's nurse will call me tomorrow with the info from MD Anderson. We will go and most likely have all the tests run again by them. A pain in the neck but also understandable. Dr Yao will take that info to his cancer board and they will decide IF/when they will do surgery. The IF is because they stop doing surgeries after 3-4 organs are involved because the body can't take it. What they are talking about in my case is uterus, bowel, liver, bone and lymph. They could easily say no! If they won't do surgery Matt wants me to come home and arrange for me to go to Switzerland for the radiotherapy by a man named Muellar. It may also be that I do both. The next step is to go to MD Anderson. If we can get an appt before we go to S. Africa we will do that. If not it will all be here when we get home.

What this all means is they will be working to prolong my life. That range is huge so there is hope. It spreads from months to decades. Obviously that isn't a pretty picture but we will do everything in our power to keep me healthy and ALIVE. My son needs his mommy and my husband needs his wife. My family and friends all want me around to.

As sad and as frightened as I am, I must tell you that I am also relieved. Relieved to have an answer as to what will happen next. Knowing something is better to me than waiting and not knowing. I may change my mind about that, but for now I am relieved.

Once again, I don't know what you can do for any of us other than pray, send white light etc. ETC.

My love to you all. Take your D.
Mary

“…they found a cancerous tumor…called a Carcinoid tumor….”
“Obviously something isn’t working right in my body to have 2 different kinds of cancer.”
“I don't think I can adequately describe how this feels.”
“I want to snuggle with my son and sit next to my husband on the couch.”
“You can of course pray till your blue, for all of us.”

Good Morning everyone,

Jeff and I left for Utah on Monday morning, got there, turned around and came home the same day. The Gynecologist (Pat Morell) that removed my Ovaries called with the pathology report and it wasn't good. Much to our SURPRISE they found a cancerous tumor in my ovary and cancerous tissue in the fallopian tube. The doctors are also shocked. It is not Ovarian cancer, which is VERY good thing and it isn't breast cancer. It is called a Carcinoid tumor, which originates from some place else in my body, meaning it has metastasized, which of course is the bad news. They suspect that it is from the appendix or the small intestine. It is a GI tract cancer that you seldom, if ever, hear about. There are only 3 Docs in the country doing research on it.

Yesterday I went in to get some blood work done. I will collect urine for 24 hrs. They are doing further testing on the tumor they have. For now that is all they can do until the swelling in my abdomen has gone down. On the 29th of this month the testing process will start all over again. As of today I know they will do an MRI, Octreotide Scan (sophisticated radioactive dye test) and an ultra sound.

The CT scan that was done in Jan showed 2 spots on my liver that they weren't worried about. The Liver is the spot this kind of cancer metastases to first, most often. Nothing else showed so they are on a search for the original tumor. When they find the place of origin they will operate, yet again, to remove as much as they can.

Obviously something isn’t working right in my body to have 2 different kinds of cancer. The docs consider all (3) the breast cancers I had as 1 kind of cancer now. I plan on finding out what the common denominators are and fixing them.

I don't think I can adequately describe how this feels. The wind was taken out of our sails, sucker punched, our bubble was burst and on and on I could go. I am certain I haven't cried this much since my father died 26 years ago. I am scared, sickened and feel beat to a bloody pulp. I'm sure you get the picture. In light of that, I know you are all going to want to know what you can do for us. Mostly I have no idea. What I want most immediately is quiet time alone with my family. I want to snuggle with my son and sit next to my husband on the couch. I want to stare off into space, say and do nothing. I want to sleep. I am going to ask that people not call or come by for a couple of weeks. I can't handle anything more than this right now. We need time to regroup and shore up our resources. You can of course pray till your blue, for all of us. Jeff or I will contact you when I come out of hibernation. I do plan on going back to work next week. I am healing fine from the Oopherectomy.

Jeff and I will go on our trip to Africa as planned the end of May. I am looking very forward to it and will postpone surgery if necessary.

My love to you all,
Mary

“The idea of having 3 surgeries in a year doesn't thrill me as you might imagine.”
“…surgery is April 15th. Yep, tax day.”

Hello everyone,

We finally have all the test results back and have a plan of action. The benefits don't outweigh the risk. My BRCA test (the genetic one) came back neg. Very good news for my family as a whole. It means I am not at higher risk (70%) for ovarian cancer. I will be on an aromatase inhibitor, an anti estrogen drug, for 5 years. In order to take the best of those drugs I either have to be on an additional drug for 5 years or I have to have my ovaries out. The additional drug is a nasty one that 98% of people that take it have side affects. I will have my ovaries out. It is a day surgery and I will be home by mid afternoon on the same day. It is a simple procedure that is done laproscopically. I won't have any stitches and I will only be off work for about a week. They will send the ovaries to pathology as routine procedure but have no concerns that they will find anything. Within the following 2 weeks they will start me on the anti estrogen drug. Every 3 months, for a year, I will have an ultrasound on my chest to make sure there is no cancer lingering.
The idea of having 3 surgeries in a year doesn't thrill me as you might imagine. The 3rd will be reconstruction. When I think about it I feel very weary, along with some dread. So I am trying to stick with the next indicated step. I won't have reconstruction until later in the year so that my body can recover more fully from the first 2 surgeries. I can still feel the effects of the anesthesia mostly on my already challenged memory. I didn't notice it until I returned to work. If I forget your names in the next few months forgive me.

Our house has returned to normal for the most part and we are all doing pretty well. Jeff is traveling some again and has spent the better portion of this week in Nashville. Cole and I went to Monster vs. Aliens yesterday. He sat on my lap most of the movie. Too bad that can't continue forever. Angie finished her biology class with a B+. YEA AUNT G! Jeff and I are going to South Africa the end of May and are looking very forward to it. That will certainly help me feel like my life, as I knew it, has returned.

Almost forgot, surgery is April 15th. Yep, tax day.

The Ibach household sends its love and blessings to all of you. We couldn't have done this without ALL of you.

Mary

“I GOT TO SHOWER FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A MONTH! LAAAAA.”
“Got to say LOVED the word ‘dissected’ as it referred to MY body.”
“Cole is really glad that mommy can sleep with him again. Mommy is too.”

Hi Everyone,

I have been moving rather slowly. I don't have as much energy as my mind keeps trying to tell me I do. I have gone back to work this week but have only managed to work 1/2 days. I am still hopeful that tomorrow I can do a full day. We will see. My iron is low so that doesn't help things much. I am certainly improving despite the low energy. I can lift my left arm straight over my head and almost have full range of motion back in that arm. I only started the exercises on my right arm today and don't expect it will take any longer in my right arm than it did in my left. My chest, sides and back remain tender but there is noticeable improvement there as well.

I am VERY HAPPY to tell you I got my drain out yesterday afternoon. It had been in a month. Yes, a month. I GOT TO SHOWER FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A MONTH! LAAAAA. I really did sing LAAA when I got into that down pour of warm luxurious water. You just can't know what that meant to me. Tomorrow I can take a bath. I'm live’n now.

I don't have much news in the way of treatment. We have met with the Oncologist, Matt Lonergan, but can't do any further testing without insurance approval. The tests, BRAC 1 & 2, ONCO DX are incredibly expensive and that apparently takes longer to get approval for. Matt did run a simplified version of the ONCO DX test that shows the % of benefit to chemo and hormone therapy. Hormone therapy shows a much greater % of benefit than chemo. Matt gave us a lot of information and several ways to think about all of it. He said hormone therapy is necessary and chemo is a personal choice. If the % of benefit from chemo were 5% or more he would see it as necessary. From his calculations chemo is 3%. He pointed out that 1% of people that do chemo die from it and that needs to be considered. He also pointed out that if I had a breast cancer recurrence it wouldn't kill me. It would be a recurrence that again would be very treatable. If we did decide to do chemo I wouldn't feel 'well' for a year. So he wasn't pushing chemo. When we went to the surgeon Jeff asked her if it were her, given what she knows, would she have chemo? She said no with having "dissected the breasts from here to here to around your back" (she pointed to her collar bone to under where the breasts used to be) there is no breast tissue left. She also felt the 'bang for your buck' didn't outweigh the risk or side effects. Got to say LOVED the word dissected as it referred to MY body. GROSS! Bottom line we don't/won't know what is next until the testing is all done. However, if everything remained the same as it is today we would not do chemo. More wait and see. We see the Geneticist on March 9th, Matt on the 10th and Marion Johnson (surgeon) on the 12th.

Jeff and I are going to Vegas tomorrow for a long weekend. Jeff planned this over a year ago as a surprise. Because it has been planned for so long we are going to go. Jeff may go to the races on Sunday but I will stay at the hotel and read or have a message. We are looking forward to being away just the two of us after all of this. Aunt G is watching Cole for us. Thanks G. You are my hero! Cole is really glad that mommy can sleep with him again. Mommy is too.

Hoping this find all of you happy and healthy. Again thank you for all of your love and prayers. We feel blessed beyond measure.

Mary

“I will prevail….”

Hi,
I am doing fine. Didn't get the second drain out yesterday and didn't even beg. HA, knew it wouldn't do me any good! Have started doing my exercises, too on my left arm. WOW is it amazing what you lose. I will prevail however. Can't wait to be able to exercise again.

Love,
Mary

“Having one more 'thing' gone, out of my body, helps me to feel more normal.”
“He can't wait for mommy to crawl back in bed with him. Mommy can't wait either.”
“Jeff remains my rock….”

Good morning everyone,

I wanted to update everyone on the happenings in the Ibach household.

I have had a few setbacks but nothing that has been a major problem. I got an infection in my left drain and have a mambo hematoma on my right side. Neither is unusual just more time consuming. The surgeon put me on antibiotics for 10 days and the hematoma is just going to take time. I did get the left drain removed two days ago, huuraahh. It made a big difference in my comfort level. Having one more 'thing' gone, out of my body, helps me to feel more normal. My range of motion sucks but that is temporary. I don't know how long I will have the right drain. It doesn't bother me the way the left one did so it's okay.

No treatments have started yet. I did speak to the medical oncologist, Dr Lonergan. We haven't met him yet (Feb 20th). He called me at 9:15pm one night last week. We talked for 45 mins. I have been taken care of by Evergreen Hosp and staff in ways I didn't know still existed. They are AMAZING. I have offered to be their poster child. I digress! Doc Lonergan hadn't seen the pathology report yet so he asked me to read parts of it to him. He reinforced that I had made the best decision possible and that the path report sounded really good. He asked a lot of questions and said he wants me to have further testing, some genetic and some probability. The genetic testing will be BRAC 1 & 2. Those test for ovarian cancer. He said because of the breast cancer and my northern European descent I am more likely to have ovarian cancer. If either of those comes back positive I will have my ovaries removed. The probability testing is plugging in my history into a national data bank that statistically analyzes the probability of a cancer reoccurrence. They then give you the increased % of help that chemotherapy would be. (WHEW, that was a tough sentence to put together. Hope it made sense). They will put me on an estrogen blocker for 5 years, though that may change if I had my ovaries removed. Not sure about that, just a guess. As you can see there is more to come and we don't have an end in sight yet.

The rest of the family. Cole hasn't gone down any more laundry chutes nor do we anticipate he will ever again. He has been very good at the 'soft hugs' that Aunt Jani taught him. He did tell his teacher yesterday that mommy can't pick him up anymore because she has 'ouies'. He can't wait for mommy to crawl back in bed with him. Mommy can't wait either. He has been more sensitive than normal which is to be expected. A loud noise last night brought him to tears. It scared him. We are just trying to love him more.

Jeff remains my rock and I know he has to be exhausted by all of this. He gets the husband of a lifetime award. Not only did I get a young stud I also got an amazing man.

Angie has been a doll. Not that that is new but greatly appreciated. She is doing laundry, cleaning, entertaining Cole, grocery shopping, hauling me around and smiling that beautiful smile she has. I adore her. She gets to go to Austin TX today to see a friend. It will be a nice break for her to hang out on 6th St. A music mecca in the south. The weather is also much nicer there this time of year.

I have not been bored as I feared. I have very much enjoyed my time either in person or on the phone with all of you. Your meals have kept me from losing weight which I was concerned about. So thank you again. My attitude remains good as I have a great deal to be thankful for. I won't bore you with the list but trust me it is long.

My love to you all and AGAIN THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING,
Mary

“You don't realize you’re holding your breath until you exhale.”
“It is damned hard to not use your arms.”
“I don't for a second feel like I/We are in this alone. May you all be blessed for this.”

To my INCREDIBLE Family and Friends'

I finally have good news. It was our turn! The pathology report came back and there is NO cancer in my lymph nodes, thank the Lord. The stage is #1, thank the Lord. The skilled surgeon was also able to get wide enough margins, quite unexpectedly, so I don't have to have radiation. That one gets a HALLELUAH , AMEN & THANK THE LORD. Thank you Dr. Johnson. They said she was the best.

We are relieved to say the least. You don't realize you’re holding your breath until you exhale. We have exhaled.

The doc removed my pain pump yesterday, without me realizing she had, until she walked away with it in hand. I can certainly tell a difference without it. What didn't bother me before, like reaching for a Kleenex, I can now feel. It has slowed my movements way down which will ultimately help me heal faster. It is damned hard to not use your arms. The reaction is so automatic. I go back to the surgeon on Thurs to have her try to drain a quite large hematoma on my right side. That is the only appt. we have scheduled right now.

I know there is a lot more to come, but for today we are VERY PLEASED.

You all have made our lives much easier through this by your gracious help and loving support. It has made a tremendous difference for Jeff & Angie to not have to worry about preparing meals. The flowers, cards, desserts, books and music have made things much brighter for me. I don't for a second feel like I/We are in this alone. May you all be blessed for this.

An update on Cole. He did go down the laundry chute (I am just learning to spell) on purpose. He had been throwing Aunt Jani's clean cloths down the chute and it got plugged. He 'was unplugging it'. That night when they were saying prayers Aunt Jani said "thank you Jesus for keeping us all safe today". Cole said "excuse me Aunt Jani but Jesus didn't keep me safe today". You gotta love it. Cole has a lovely bruise on his cheek and chin. His tongue is even bruised. But, laundry chutes have lost their attraction.

Meant to mention in my last update that cousin Monica gets the Cousin of the Century award for having ‘Goodbye Earl dedicated’ to me during surgery, from the radio station she works for. She is the daughter of the Aunt of the Century. Cut from the same cloth. I love you both. Thank you.

I will keep you posted. My love to you all,
Mary

“The night nurse (Heather) and NA were like a military Special Forces team. “
“My first thought was ‘Oh my GOD, THEY ARE ALL HERE’. “
“….I am married to the most wonderful man on the planet.”
“OH and you have to know, Cole went down Aunt Jani and Uncle Brent's laundry shoot yesterday. Head first.”

Good Morning Everyone,

I am Home! It is good to be here. We returned home yesterday about noon. I stayed in the hospital an extra night due to the anesthesia and pain meds they had me on. My system didn't like either. I am 100% better than I was. I am not experiencing much pain at all, mostly discomfort at the tightness in my chest. Lying down is also awkward. I have managed to go about 36 hrs without any pain meds. We are on the right track. I seem to have gadgets everywhere (one being my IPod so it isn't all bad) but it is temporary.

I only had my Sentinel Lymph Nodes removed. No large group had to come out. The pathology report won't be back until Mon or Tues. We see the surgeon on Mon afternoon and she hopes to have the report by then.

We were treated very well at the hospital. The first night in the room the hospital staff was very kind and efficient. The night nurse (Heather) and NA were like a military Special Forces team. They swooped in, got the job done and disappeared. The nurse was British to the hilt, including the WHITE nurse’s dress with WHITE stockings and WHITE shoes. She only lacked the WHITE hat. She and nursing assistant were VERY SERIOUS about their jobs. When they change shifts someone comes in and writes the names of the new nurse and NA on the white board along with the date. Heather marched in and in perfect handwriting wrote names and date. In the middle of the night I kept looking at the white board at the date. It looked like she had written Feb. 29th (it was Jan 29th). I knew that couldn't be. Nurse Heather would not have made that kind of mistake. Come daylight, much to my surprise, nurse Heather had in fact made that kind of mistake. Astonishing. Day two when I stopped being sick the staff had a miraculous transformation. They were suddenly quite funny. The evening Nurse Dat (yes that was his name) started joking with Jeff and by the end of the evening he had everyone laughing. Nurse Heather was back with her English humor at hand. In the early morning trip into the room she began admiring my glasses, moved on to my phone and landed on my IPod. She then said with her delightful British accent, “Well goodness is there anything else I could admire?” I just could NOT resist and I had to tell her about her date mistake and the fact I thought all night long, there is no way Special Forces nurse Heather could have made that mistake. We all laughed and she said, "Well that really is funny because I generally don't.” We knew that of course! I laughed so much in that 16hr period I no longer had to use the breathing machine to get the junk out of my lungs. Of course the few friends I got to see in that time frame made me laugh to. I came home in good shape.

To my knowledge no one was asked to leave the hospital!!! Seeing all of you standing there as I came out of recovery was a site. My first thought was "Oh my GOD, THEY ARE ALL HERE". It made my heart soar.

One last thing before I sign off. In case you hadn't noticed I am married to the most wonderful man on the planet. He has been unwavering in his strength, tenderness, compassion and LOVE. I am sure you noticed. Words cannot describe how I feel about this man.

OH and you have to know, Cole went down Aunt Jani and Uncle Brent's laundry shoot yesterday. Head first. Yep, head first. Did he mean to? Jani doesn't think so. Jeff and I aren't so sure. He is fine but it did shake him for a couple of minutes.

My love and thanks to you all,
Mary

“One thing I want you all to know. I HATE PINK. “
“In a heartbeat our life as we knew it has changed.”

Family and Friends;

HAVE YOU TAKEN YOUR D? You also HAVE to have your levels checked to make sure you are getting enough which depends on how depleted you were/are. As my dad used to say, not all vitamins are created equally.

I have completed all the tests they have asked for and have scheduled surgery for Jan 28th. I will be in the hospital overnight. The surgery will take place at Evergreen Hosp. Which reminds me, many of you know me by Blackburn and I go by Ibach at home. The hosp. has my married name so if you are looking for me its Ibach.

Many of you have asked how they found the tumors. Annual routine screening. The name of the cancer is infiltrating ductile carcinoma and the stage of the cancer won't be determined until after the surgery.

One thing I want you all to know. I HATE PINK. I am a red head. I don't look good in pink, around or near pink. It is fine with me if you love pink. You probably look good in it. I DON'T. So NO PINK. ANYTHING. PLEASE. When you get your biopsies at Evergreen they give you a rose. Guess what color they are? Yep PINK. The breast cancer ribbon? Yep PINK. Everything on the planet associated with breast cancer is of course PINK. Did I tell you I HATE PINK? So yesterday Angie texts me to ask how the procedure went (I got your back G) and I respond with "fine, did tell you I hate PINK". She says "so that new PINK bra I got you I should probably take back"? I said "unless you'd like it to be flying from your car antennae". I of course thought she was kidding. OH NO she wasn't. It is PINK polka dots with lace......................... She said "do you like it"? The cup size I liked: 38C. Get the picture? Thank you.

Cole will be going to Aunt Jani and Uncle Brent’s for 3-4 days so he doesn't have to see mom and be worried. It will also get him away from the worst of it and Jeff won't have to worry constantly about Cole jumping on me. We will have to be vigilant when he comes home. He had his tonsils out late last year so he understands what surgery is. I am really grateful for that. It was a good experience for him, at the hosp, so he doesn't have any scary thoughts in there.

Thank you all truly for all your love and support. We have the greatest family and friends. This hasn't been easy, nor is it going to be, but your love and concern has been touching and helpful. It has been a bonus to be in touch with so many of you. In a heartbeat our life as we knew it has changed. Temporary as it may be we will do everything in our power to have it make us better people. Jeff and I both believe good will come from this, some already has and we expect it to continue. This is not going to kill me. I have the utmost confidence in the docs and the hosp.

Keep sending the love,
Mary

“I know I am not going to die from this so it just seems like a GIANT pain in the ass.”

“…get your D checked. That’s what you can do for me cuz I know you’re going to ask.”

“Evergreen has a 2% reoccurrence rate. The national average is 16%. “

Family and Friends,

I struggle with how to start a letter that bares bad news. There really isn't any good way. On Weds this week I received a breast cancer diagnosis. I had a mammogram in Dec. They sent me a letter asking me to come back which I did on Jan 9TH for another mammogram and ultrasound. At that appointment they determined I needed a biopsy which was Tues. of this last week. Weds they called with the news. Thurs Jeff and I saw a Radiology Oncologist. Yesterday I had an MRI, EKG, blood work and saw a surgeon. This coming Mon. I will have a CT scan. I have 3 tumors in my left breast. The docs have said "where there are 3 there are more". There are 2 suspicious areas on my right breast, missed by mammogram, picked up on the MRI. Those areas will be biopsied on Weds next week. On Friday we will talk with the surgeon and schedule surgery. Surgeries are on Weds. Because there are more than 2 tumors the docs recommend a mastectomy. If there is cancer in my right breast I will have a double mastectomy. They don't believe my lymph nodes are involved but my left nodes are asymmetrical. They will be biopsied at the time of surgery. Without lymph involvement I won't have to have radiation or chemo which I am VERY HAPPY about. With lymph involvement it is a whole new ball game where treatment is concerned.

The docs and treatment are at Evergreen Hosp in Kirkland. I am in extremely competent hands. Evergreen has a 2% reoccurrence rate. The national average is 16%. They have been unbelievable in every way imaginable. When the Doc (Carlson, Radiologist) called with the diagnosis she had 2 appts sent up for me already. I have not had to make one appt or call one Doc. They have done it ALL for me. They have already checked insurance and all the Docs have spoken to one another. It has been remarkable. I have asked several people that are in the medical field who they would go to if... and the names I have gotten consistently are Carlson, Hunter and or Taylor, Johnson and Cascadia Medical Oncology. The people I saw before I knew who others would see are: Carlson, Hunter, and Johnson with my next stop at Cascadia. Funny how that works isn't it.

We have learned a lot already and are a bit overwhelmed with info at this point. What has been driven home however is the necessity for EVERYONE in the STATE of WA to have their Vit D levels checked. The short version is vit D aids in the 'natural' life process of cells. When you don't have D cells don't die and get eliminated as they should. That allows them to change forms and become cancerous. They are suspecting D is involved in our high rates of MS, Parkinson’s and Heart disease in this area. The Oncologist said "We know it contributes to Seattle and the state having the HIGHEST rates of breast and colon cancer in the country." NOT JUST SEATTLE. Get the message. It has to do with our longitude on the earth’s axis. Don't ask me anymore questions, it’s all I know. But get your D checked. That’s what you can all do for me cuz I know you’re going to ask. Get you D checked.

How am I? Tired and annoyed. Angie laughs or shakes her head when I say that. But it’s true. I am annoyed. I know I am not going to die from this so it just seems a GIANT pain in the ass. I am not afraid of pain and generally have a pretty high tolerance to it. Of course I have no idea what this pain will be like. I hate disrupting my life, my family’s life and my practice. I don't especially like having to tell all of you bad news. I will get over it. Hmmm Maybe. What will happen is I will get well. I will take care of myself. I worry about Jeff, Cole and Angie. They will be the most deeply affected by this as they will have to watch it all. It is hard to watch someone you love suffer. If you can do anything for me it is to make sure the 3 of them are well taken care of through this. And take your D (if I am going to be annoyed I might as well annoy you). Obviously you can pray for the 4 of us, in any way that works for you. I am not picky about prayer type.

Take your D
Mary